Don’t let the haters “hate” keep you from trying. Words I need to live by, but I never listen to my own advice.
As a parent, I encourage my children to be whoever they want to be! Always do your best. And at least try something once. Don’t let others determine your fate. Choose what you want to do, not what is popular or what your friends want to do. No matter how it turns out, I remind them that I am always proud of them.
A few months ago, I allowed the mean words of someone to stop me from keeping up with my blog. Fortunately, the site allows me to remove comments. Words matter. Words hurt. And some people will just always be mean. But words are words, and the words of others should not dictate our lives.
Sure…a bad review or evaluation stings our egos. In the workplace, a poor write-up may cost us a promotion or even our job. While that may hurt our checking account balance along with our feelings, it doesn’t stop us from moving on to the next best thing. The new job or position may be where we really were meant to be. Or may put us in the right place to meet the right person. It also may allow us to achieve goals we never even imagined. Change is normal. Growth is expected. And sometimes it takes a little negative feedback, whether it was meant to be inspiring or it was meant to crush the spirit, to push us in the right direction.
I remember an old friend once saying, “there’s a reason someone is an ex.” It’s not my role to seek revenge for someone that constantly tries to hold me back from succeeding whether it’s in actions or words. It is my job to be a good role model to my children and to show them that we all deserve to be loved and cherished for who are, not what we do or who we hang out with. Sometimes that means moving on and living a life that allows us to be the best we can be.
My son once complained about being put in a job that required him to take out the trash and mop the floors each day. He knew he was so much better than that and had potential for so much more. My advice to him was “be the best trash taker outer and floor mopper you can be. And gently remind them you want to do something else.” Not sure if my advice was helpful, but I know today he is doing what he really wants to do. Or at least he seems pretty happy in his chosen occupation.
I’ve been more worried about what others think when I make decisions. When someone asks, “what do you want to eat?” My first response usually is “what do you want to eat?” I should have responded with “tacos, chips, and cheese dip”, but I am always concerned that I will hear “no, I don’t want that.” I allow my anxiety to the word “no” to dictate my reaction. Is it a fear of failure or a fear of embarrassment? We all want to have the right answers, and some of us don’t enjoy arguing or debating. So, we compromise our wishes and dreams to keep the peace.
In the words of the amazing songwriter and singer Taylor Swift, “haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate…..I shake it off”. Yes, Sarah, I just quoted Miss Swift. And by the way, I don’t own the rights to that song, either. This is a good time for a Sarah López plug….enjoy her cover of “Shake it off” by Taylor Swift at my oldest daughter’s wedding in February. Video below.
Here I am, shaking off the criticism of someone that only had one intention—to hurt my feelings. And moving forward and trying this blog thing, again. Thanks to all the new followers that have been patiently waiting for my return. Also a big thanks to a few friends that encouraged me to keep writing and doing what I enjoy. And not letting the haters “hate” to keep me from doing what I do best!