My Awesome Disaster

Surviving as a Sports Parent

People always think I’m joking when they ask me, “what do you do for a hobby?” And I reply, “I watch soccer and cheerleading.” When you have two very active athletes living at home, you don’t have time to do much more than watch them live their best life. I like to read books and watch movies, but I’ve had to switch to audio books that I can listen to anywhere.

All of my children played sports and had many other extracurricular activities while growing up. I’m down to two at home, and they seem to be pushing the limits on the costs and amount of time needed to do what they love doing. Yes, they love competing. Win or lose, the thrill of performing on a big stage or playing in a big stadium is what keeps them going.

Living in small town Georgia, participating in sports at a high level requires travel. Travel requires time and money. It also requires balancing a calendar of events, and sometimes, it requires having to choose which child gets to have you in attendance this week. Until someone figures out how to make a clone or a real hologram, I can’t be at two places at once.

In order to survive this chaos of multiple children in different sports, I’ve had to learn a few things.

Make friends! Meet the other parents on the team and get to know at least one of them well enough that you would trust them with your child’s care. Many times over the last few years, my girls have traveled to a competition or game with another family. Sometimes they had to stay the night (or two) in a hotel. Finding the right fit for your child is important. Trusting the other family to treat them as one of their own will make your life slightly less stressful. It is also nice to have friends to hang with during those long weekends far from home.

2. Ask for help! Yes, you need to make trustworthy and caring friends. What’s even harder is taking that next step and asking for help. Most people will happily help you with transportation and looking out for your child for an away game or competition. We all want to be there all the time for our kids, but many of us have conflicting sports schedules and even work requirements that make it nearly impossible to be there for all of them. If one family says no, be prepared to ask another one. Just ask!

3. Make a family calendar. Between practices, games, competitions, classes, doctor’s appointments, club meetings, and whatever else life throws at us, it is imperative to write it all down. One calendar that’s big enough to post it all will make things easier to coordinate. It will also give you an idea of why you always feel like you are being pulled in 12 directions….because you probably are. This will help when you are making future appointments and also gives you a heads up when someone is going to need a ride.

Sometimes it also helps the child to see they have planned events that overlap, and someone is going to have to make decision. This gets even harder when they are on multiple teams in the same sport…yes, that’s a thing. My daughter plays soccer year round. Before high school, there were times when she was on three teams in the same time period. The state rules that say you can’t play outside of the high school team during the high school season is a blessing in disguise.

Make a calendar of all activities and include: child’s name, event name, time, and if they need a ride. Sometimes you also need to add location.

4. Take a deep breath! You can’t do it all. You can’t be at every single game when you work and have other children. This is even more difficult if you are doing this as a single parent.

You can control how you react to the busy schedule. Don’t let your kids see how stressed you are over their activities. Their focus should be on doing their best and having fun….not worrying about how they are going to get there. Learn to control your emotions and plan ahead to avoid last minute panic.

Do something for yourself. Take a deep breathe! Go to the gym while they are at practice. Go get a pedicure while they are taking an extra class to be better at their sport. Get yourself a snack to enjoy while you sit waiting in the parking lot. Don’t forget: they need you to be at your best, so they can be at their best.

Self-care is real and is a requirement. Along with planning ahead.

5. Create a budget. This should probably be first on the list. Sports are expensive. Club soccer has expensive fees and expensive travel. Competitive cheer has the most expensive fees and even ridiculous expensive travel. Once these big cities find out there’s a cheer comp coming to town, they jack the prices up to obscene rates. For example, an upcoming comp in Atlanta is going to cost me over $400 a night just for the hotel. Fortunately, we can get there by car in three hours. I can’t even imagine the costs for those teams coming from out of state.

School sports are not free either. Team dues and fundraisers will take a toll if you don’t budget for those items. I never want my kids to say they couldn’t do something because we couldn’t afford it. However, budgeting the costs along with household expenses is necessary to ensure at the end of the day you still have a house to live in.

The little extra costs add up as well….a t-shirt here, a fast food meal or two or three, new cleats or new cheer shoes, practice wear and the actual uniform. Make a budget and stick to it. And…do as I say, not as I do. We still struggle in this area!

Those are my top 5. I’m sure there are many more ways to make life as a sports parent easier. I can think of a few more: organize equipment in your garage, keep all uniform parts together in their own bag (Lululemon bags work great for this), keep in touch with the coaches and booster club, and meal plan.

At the end of the day, they grow up way too quick. I’m on my last two at home. One day there will be no more practices, no more sporting event road trips, no more late night laundry, and no more smelly gear in my car. And when that day comes, I will miss it all! But…I can finally read all those books I keep buying and placing in my bookshelves. And….I can buy a car that doesn’t require a huge storage area and seating for 7.

Baseball is Life!

With the passing of Fernando Valenzuela, it brought back many core memories…back when we had maybe 3 or 4 TV channels…and the Dodgers were always televised…and there was no remote to change those 3 or 4 channels. My dad and his brother were always talking baseball…there was a lot of discussion over the big table at my Mama’s (pronounced mam-maw) about this Mexican pitcher.

You also have to remember, growing up in South Florida, we didn’t have a lot of Mexicans or Mexican-Americans. We had a lot of Hispanics… but from Cuba, Colombia, and other Latin American countries. Mexicans were a “California” thing. Fernando Valenzuela was definitely a California thing. He opened the door for many more baseball greats of Hispanic descent. Even more so, he was a Los Angeles Dodgers’ legend!

1990, Fernando Valenzuela pitches a no hitter with Vin Scully providing commentary

Anyway, my dad loves baseball so if a game is/was on…that’s what we are/were watching. Didn’t matter the team because his team rarely got televised. He’s a lifelong Cleveland Indians/Guardians fan…But we saw a lot of the Dodgers…and it’s all coming back to me now….Tommy Lasorda was THE coach. Plus, all these people my awesome significant other talks about often. By talk about (Steve Garvey, Steve Sax, Orel Hershiser, Mike Scioscia, and Dusty Baker—to name a few), I mean he’s given me history lessons and we have watched a lot of YouTube videos of some big plays.

My awesome significant other with Manny Mota at “Adult Baseball Camp” in 2023 at THE Los Angeles Dodgers Stadium. Yes, Marc played four games in Dodgers Stadium, playing second base and wearing the Dodgers Uniform with his own last name on the back!

I also remember seeing the Dodgers play in Spring Training…back when everyone came to Florida for baseball in the beautiful spring weather. My dad had 4 season tickets to all the games in West Palm Beach. Some days, we would go to the stadium just to have lunch. Eat a few hot dogs, watch some ball, then we went back to work or school or life. As Humphrey Bogart once said, “A hot dog at the game beats roast beef at the Ritz.” Well said Mr. Bogart!

The West Palm Beach Municipal Stadium on Hank Aaron Drive was demolished in 2002. Both the Braves and the Expos called this stadium home for spring training until 1997, so there was a lot of baseball to be seen back in the day. Even to this day, I love a good baseball game. Yes, I inherited the “baseball is life” gene from my dad.

Even when we go see a Seattle Mariners’ game, we show up in Dodgers’ Blue

Once the big guys left to go play in their Major League Stadiums, we still had baseball games to attend. The West Palm Beach Expos, a “Class A” farm club played all summer, and we were there for many of the home games. The stadium shared the parking lot with the West Palm Beach Auditorium. Where else could you watch a baseball game and attend a concert without moving your car? Side note: I graduated from high school inside the West Palm Beach Auditorium…many years ago.

When my dad woke up this morning, and I told him that Fernando Valenzuela passed. He went on and on about what a “phenomenal” pitcher he was, “left handed” he added. He explained in detail (to include his hands holding a ball) that he had this amazing screwball. He also said today they would call it a change up. I could tell by the excitement in his stories, that while he is a Cleveland fan for life, he has a little soft spot in his heart for the great players of the game. I mean, who doesn’t love someone like say….Shohei Ohtani…another Dodgers legend in the making!

The conversation changed to another great player…Pete Rose. He mentioned that he also passed recently. He also feels they did him wrong for not recognizing him in the hall of fame. He said they could have just put an asterisk by his name. Yes, Pete Rose is another legend that joined the big leagues in the sky. That’s another story for another day.

Baseball is used a lot as a metaphor. It gives us a lot of life lessons that we can apply daily. At the same time, baseball quotes are gold! Here’s a few to spark memories and inspire:

“Never let the fear of striking out get in your way.” -Babe Ruth

“Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good, too.” – Yogi Berra

“Close doesn’t count in baseball. Close only counts in horseshoes and grenades.” -Frank Robinson

“The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in a man’s determination.” -Tommy Lasorda

“To keep going in baseball, you have to learn all the time.” -Fernando Valenzuela

“A life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives.” -Jackie Robinson

See!!! G-O-L-D! There are so many quotes, I could fill this whole page. In respect of your time, I will add just one more: “Remember these two things: play hard and have fun, ” said by Tony Gwynn. I thought I made that quote up? I have said the same thing to my kids through the years before every game or competition: “Play hard and have fun!”

Just like life, baseball isn’t about luck. One of my daughters once said, “Don’t wish me good luck. That sounds like I’m not good enough. If I’m prepared, I don’t need luck.” I had to change my way of thinking that day. Next time you face a big event or you are encouraging someone for a big event (or even just to start your day), remember how hard you worked to get where you are at today. Go out there and give it your best! “Play Hard! Have fun! Be safe!,” is what I say now.

Last quote, I promise…

“Progress always involves risk. You can’t steal second base and keep your foot on first.” Frederick B. Wilcox

That last quote is for me…and maybe you, too! You can’t move forward and experience your best life if you don’t accept that there will be risks and challenges. You want second base? Get off first base, and go get it! Why stop there? The goal is to make it home, and you have to step on third base in the journey. There is a whole team out there making the hits and taking that sacrifice fly so you can achieve your goal. Once you decide to steal second base, there’s no looking back. Whether you are safe or you are out, you moved forward. Now you are either standing proudly on second base, or you are back at the dugout “licking your wounds” and getting ready for your next at bat. See….baseball is life!

We are on a mission…goal is to see a game in all 30 MLB stadiums! Yes, that one above is my dad at Tropicana Stadium…the one that lost its top in the last hurricane. Starting at the left: T-Mobile Stadium in Seattle, Tropicana Stadium in Tampa, Camden Yards in Baltimore, and Dodgers Stadium in Los Angeles. There have been others, but I just can’t find the photo evidence.

Why I Write…

In 2014, I took a little break from the fast lane of life to spend more time with my kids. During that time I started a book that I have yet to finish. I joined a writing “club” and the first assignment was to post “Why I Write.” For inspiration, I re-read it today….here it is with no changes from January 2014. Enjoy!

Before you get started reading, I just wanted to thank Taco Bell for reading my mind…

Getting Started

At a young age, I started reading. My dad says I was only three. As I sat in his lap while he read the newspaper, I started reading aloud the latest news. Maybe I was that smart as a child?! I skipped kindergarten. For years, I thought that was my greatest achievement.

As I got older, writing just came naturally to me. I struggled in English classes even though I loved to read and write. I felt confined by rules, and I was bored with diagramming sentences. It was slowing down my writing and my creative out pour. In high school, I started writing sports articles. First, I wrote for the high school newspaper, but then I moved on to the local town newspaper where I interned my last semester of high school. I felt like I was successful at that point. I had my own weekly column for the few months I was there, and I reached my goal of being published.

Off to college as a journalism major I went. I was confident in my writing, but not sure where it was going to lead me. Then I signed up for Army ROTC and everything changed. I changed my major to political science and put all my focus on activities that would help me get active duty as an Army Officer. I thought I had put writing on hold. Little did I know that every political science class I took had many books to read and several essays and research reports to write. I graduated a semester late, but I graduated and received a commission as a Second Lieutenant in the United States Army.

My first daughter was born my senior year of college. My life changed completely. My priorities evolved. I still found myself reading and writing. I actually had more time to read now since I was no longer chasing the next big party. I developed a love for military history and read everything I could find, both non-fiction and fiction.

My family continued to grow over the years. Watching them all start school and learn to read was exciting for me. Then as they learned to write and express themselves I saw pieces of me in each of them. Seeing them read on their own is a gift! With the struggles of life and balancing work and family, I lost the time to read for fun. I had to watch my children read and got enjoyment from their book reviews. I was able to write occasionally, but it was either work related or an assignment for a class that I was taking.

I have finally reached a place in life where I can work part time and not be financially devastated. Two of my kids are grown up or at least by age they are considered grown up. My youngest daughter is in kindergarten, so I have found a few hours a day that belong to me. At first, I spent that time running and trained for a half marathon. When that was over I said “what’s next?” I started reading and found myself reading every chance I could get. I read during the day, I read at night, I read while I waited in the car line at school, and I read whenever I found myself alone for a moment. Reading just did not seem like it was enough. I needed to find a way to write.

For the past two years, I have done the 30 Day of Thanksgiving Challenge during the month of November. After the first year I realized most of my daily thanks were wrapped around my five kids. They bring me joy, they bring me anxiety, they bring me smiles and laughter, and they bring me tears as well. I discovered that so much of what I am is because of them. I started a journal expressing these emotions towards my kids. I then started something that resembled a letter to each of them. I wanted them to know my feelings when they were born, my happiness as I watched them learn to love and care for others, my feeling of pride when I watch them excel in life, and my never ending unconditional love that I felt for each of them. Of all the things I have done or will ever do in this lifetime, the five hearts that once beat strongly in rhythm with mine will be my greatest accomplishments. And I want them to know just how special each of them are to me.

My greatest accomplishments in life share my sense of humor and my love of reading. We are our own book club. Five hearts share my love and I hope they recognize that I love each of them just the same. I have had the pleasure of saying “welcome to my world” five times while looking into the those precious eyes that long to see my smile. As you can see…my world revolves around five hearts that call me “Mom.” I want them to be proud to say that I am their mom. Because of them, I have decided to write.

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ADDED: My youngest is now a Junior in High School. The other four are technically adults! Two of them have upgraded my status to “Gigi”!

Bucket List

Check one off the list!

Ireland has been on my bucket list for many years…even before 23 and Me informed me that I’m mostly Irish. In the movies it looks beautiful and quaint. It appears to be a friendly inviting country and the people seem happy. Who wouldn’t want to go there?

Taken from the bus window on a small road in Ireland

Disney World is “the happiest place on Earth” and it’s “where dreams come true.” I love Disney. Growing up in Florida we went several times a year! Yes, we went a lot. I had to check out this country of Ireland where the movies make it look like the adult version of a Disney park. Therefore, I added it to my bucket list!

Cobh, seaside town in Ireland…last stop of the Titanic before it sank

Two years ago, my youngest daughter asked if she could go on a school trip to Ireland. Since I live vicariously through my children, I said “yes” with enthusiasm. My next response was a question, “can parents go?” She checked on it, and I could go. Then…what about the other daughter still living at home? Would she be able to go? Again, it was a yes. There I was, committed to a two year payment plan for three people to go on this trip with no idea how I was going to pay for it, but we were going!

It was so much more than just Ireland. We went to Wales, Scotland, and England. We rode a bus (a lot), we rode a ferry, and we rode a train. Of course, the trip had a few airplane rides as well.

We also took a few rides on the tube in London

I could write for days and tell you how amazing this trip was for everyone in our group. A group of teenagers and adults from South Georgia coming together for 10 days on a great adventure! Castles, museums, restaurants, tours, lots of exploring in old cities, and a big day in London… I’ll get back to that. In 10 days, we saw a lot of Ireland and Great Britain. We also learned that Great Britain is a lot of countries to include England. (Plus, Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland)

“Proper” fish and chips….the best I have ever had!

I mentioned earlier that two of my daughters and myself went together on this big trip. Our daily exploring group included another set of two sisters. Our accountability group also included one young man traveling alone. We were known as “The DeFelice Six.” Exploring with so many teenagers was a challenge as everyone had some where they wanted to go, but we had limited free time throughout the journey. Now I have to go back one day to see more…especially my favorite, Scotland.

The girls and I enjoying coffee in Edinburgh, Scotland

One of the big highlights happened in London. We were on a tour that included a bus ride and walking. Our amazing tour guide had a surprise in store for us that day! A once in a lifetime kind of event! It was the King’s Birthday parade.

The King of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland

We saw the King! We also saw the Royal Family. King Charles and his Queen, Camilla, were in a horse drawn carriage. Princess Anne, Prince Edward, and Prince William rode horses right behind the King. There were other carriages in the parade with their families. Yes! We saw Kate, George, Charlotte and Louis as their carriage passed by the crowds that lined the streets. Our awesome tour guide picked a spot along the route that was less crowded, so we were almost up front! Did I mention the band was riding horses? Let me remind you…we saw the King! (And the two future Kings)

The high school teacher that sponsored the trip was extremely organized and experienced. We came prepared with our special backpack that identified us as part of the group, our one carry-on, and one small rolling suitcase. She told us to prepare for rain, but we were blessed with 7 days of sunshine! Ten day trip, so we did get to use our rain jackets a few times. I highly recommend signing up if that type of program exists at your teens’ school!

I’ll end this with a quick roll-up of some core memories (besides seeing the King): museums with history and famous artwork, riding the London Eye, the best fish and chips while in Edinburgh, a few sheep blocking the road in Ireland, seeing the stuffed clone sheep “Dolly” in Scotland, finding my maiden name (King) engraved on several places in an old church in Dublin, and the crazy maze we had to wind our way through to get to customs in Canada. There is so much more I could add from those 10 days, and I would love to go back there! However, the point of this post is this: cross Ireland off my bucket list!

I ran for the t-shirt and the medal

How it all started…

I ran my first Half Marathon in 2010 at Walt Disney World in Florida. I kid you not….it was in January and it was snowing while we stood freezing in our running corral there in the heart of Central Florida. If you have ever ran a big race like a runDisney event, you know you have to arrive really early…like 3am early. The race starts at 5am, and they have a strict time limit. You must maintain a 16 minute mile pace or get on the bus. Snow, cold, stress of maintaining the pace, a running partner that quit on me (that’s a whole other story), first time running that far…and I had a great time! Who wouldn’t have fun at a race with Mickey Mouse in a jogging suit cheering you on at the start and finish line?! Of course since it was Disney, the race swag included a really nice technical running shirt and a big ol’ Donald Duck finisher’s medal.

I enjoyed it so much, I came back and did it again in 2011. This time I ran with my oldest daughter, and I think I was the one slowing her down. Totally different experience! We found out later that Al Roker had ran the same Half Marathon that we did, but he was way up front in a better corral. However, we beat his finish time! Take that and your celebrity status! It was still cold in January as we arrived at the Epcot parking lot at 3am. But at least it wasn’t snowing this time. We had family cheerleaders that followed us on the route. My daughter’s aunt and cousin were there near the half way point and at the finish line. Thanks, Nasly and Eli, that was awesome! Again, we got a great shirt, but I was disappointed that we got the same Donald Duck medal with a 2011 attached to the bottom of it.

I ran the Soldier Half Marathon at Fort Benning, Georgia (now known as Fort Moore) in 2013, 2014, and 2015. The start and finish was at the amazing National Infantry Museum. The highlight of the race for me was the very steep hill that had Drill Sergeants yelling at us…for encouragement. My favorite quote was actually straight out of the reg for the Army PT test, ” Although walking is authorized, it is strongly discouraged.” This hill was so steep, most everyone was walking up it. We all got a good laugh since most of the runners were Soldiers and Veterans. The race swag was cool! The t-shirt was a soft cotton blend and the race medal each year featured the infamous “dog tags.” The first and second year I ran it, it was actually shaped like dog tags. The third year it was a big circle with a picture of dog tags on the medal.

Eli, me, John, and Pete before the Soldier Marathon Event. I ran the half while they opted for the 5K. Slackers!

My last Half Marathon was in 2017, on base at Yongsan in Korea. We ran two laps around South Post inside the fence. There was a big hill or two (maybe three) on this one. The funniest part of the race was the water cups, or the lack of water cups. The first lap there weren’t any, and if you were really in need of a drink, you drank from the spout on the water jug. Yep, old school like we use to do with the garden hose. By lap two there was a form of a cup to get water, but since the race was sponsored by the hospital, they were using specimen cups at the water stations. Quite an experience! I ran with a good friend, not knowing this was his first Half Marathon. It was a PR for me, and a proud first finish for him. Thanks for the pace push, Byron. BUT…there were no finisher’s medals. I felt bad for my running partner that he ran his first Half Marathon with nothing to show for it but a cool photo with me and a cheap Korean made t-shirt.

I’ve ran 5Ks and 10Ks. Sometimes you get a shirt and medal. Sometimes at the smaller ones, you are just happy that they have cold water at the finish line. The nice thing about the smaller races is there is a pretty good chance you will place in your age bracket. Then you get to go home with whatever prize they are giving. Sometimes it was a medal. One time it was a jar of candy. The Ugly Sweater 5K had cookies and hot chocolate at the finish area. That was motivating! But nothing is more motivating than crossing the finish line and have a medal placed around your neck.

Byron, HW, and myself before the Yongsan Half Marathon

Jump forward a decade, plus or minus a few years…

This year, I retired from the Army, and I started helping out another retired Army Veteran with his business, Just TRI Athletic Events, LLC. Marc Chung started the company in 2017, and as the Race Director, he has hosted races ranging from 5Ks to Half Marathons, plus there’s always the Kids 1 Mile Fun Run. There’s also been several Triathlon events since the company started. COVID hit us all hard, and Just TRI was not immune (pun intended) to the pandemic. Marc was deployed for three years, and after the Mother’s Day Run in 2020, face-to-face races came to a screeching halt.

Here we are in 2023! Just TRI is back and re-building. And I’m gonna add since I’m helping out now…even better. This year will feature two races on July 2nd and September 2nd. The first is a 5K and 10K with a Kids 1 Mile Fun Run at Fort Steilacoom Park in Lakewood, Washington. Since its Independence Day Weekend, the race is a Yankee Doodle theme. The swag was designed around the theme of the Yankee Doodle red, white, and blue hat. Based on my experience and first hand knowledge of the finisher’s medal…everyone will want one of these. All that sign up to run or walk get a Yankee Doodle hat and a finisher’s medal after they run under the finish line arch on July 2nd. Plus, there’s the cool t-shirt.

Then we have the big race in September. The Labor of Love during Labor Day Weekend. This second run will not only have a 5K and a 10K and a Kids 1 Mile Fun Run, this is your chance to run a Half Marathon. Whether this is your first or your tenth run, everyone will be celebrated at the finish area with a finisher’s medal and t-shirt. Sorry, Byron. Maybe you should join us out in Washington in September. You’ll get that medal and a much better t-shirt.

The magic behind the curtain…

Most races have a small staff and depend heavily on volunteers and sponsors. After working this from the other side, I won’t complain about the gradual price increases and the strict packet pick-up times. You know why they raise the price? They need to order those medals and t-shirts. And that gets really expensive when its a late, rush order. Sign up early and get the better price, plus help out your local Race Director as they try to plan the big events. Packet pick-up times are limited because those same volunteers that are sitting there handing out the cool swag probably need to get back to finish sorting medals and packing the trailer for race day. It’s all about perspective.

Let’s talk about volunteers. Did you ever think about how many people it takes to put on an event like a 5K? Lots! Most of those folks handing you water and guiding you along the course are volunteers. If you ever get the chance to volunteer, try it at least once. It’s a rewarding experience to watch athletes with a diverse background, from the elite “super fast” runners to the really slow “just happy to finish” runners. They all deserve to feel accomplished when it’s over, and it takes volunteers to fill all the jobs from start to finish.

Stepping off my soap box now. As you can see from my Half Marathon dates, its been a while since I ran that far. I did do the Cooper River Bridge Run this past April with one of my younger daughters. It’s a 10K that starts in Mount Pleasant, South Carolina. You have to “get over” the Cooper River Bridge to head into downtown Charleston for the finish. A little warmer than usual this year, so that added to the challenge. Very well organized with nearly 30,000 runners and about 4,000 volunteers. We got over it. Great t-shirt and amazing finisher’s medal!

Gracie and I after crossing the finish line at CRBR…but before we reached the area with the medals

****As a side note, this year Just TRI is welcoming dogs (on a leash) and strollers to join both of the 5Ks. See…I told you its getting better!

Summer is my favorite!

Summer is my favorite because it is almost synonymous with the word beach. Okay, not really, but it does bring up a lot of good memories and dreams for future trips. Growing up in Florida, summer lasted almost 11 months in a year. Also, growing up in Florida meant that once you could drive, you kept a chair and a towel and swimsuit in the trunk of your car. Never let a good and free day pass you by without thinking about going to the beach.

Then you become an adult. And you have kids. Now you need a lot more than a big towel and sunscreen to go to the beach. You need snacks and a cooler with drinks. You need several towels because each child needs one to sit on and one to use when they dry off. Better bring some toys, too. Nothing ruins a relaxing beach day like bored kids.

Let’s talk about sunscreen, sunburn, and aloe. If you grew up in a coastal state, you’ve been sunburnt at least once. Most of us have been a red lobster more than we care to admit. You know the drill when you get home: cold shower, lather on the hair conditioner, pat dry, drown yourself in aloe, and take some Tylenol. Then be prepared to not sleep all night, and in a few days watch as the first layer of your skin peels off like you’re a lizard.

Okay. It doesn’t have to be that way. I found this cool beach tent that provides shade and is super easy to put up. Well, my oldest daughter found it first. I just found a bigger one. It has air vents and these awesome pockets on the bottom you fill with sand so it won’t blow away. Of course, it came with stakes but who knows where those ended up in my garage.

https://amzn.to/42wh4Ro

Use the link above to get your own tent!

There are so many reasons to love the beach! The feel of the sun on my skin, the sand between my toes, the salty water that is refreshing and sticky, the sound of the waves, the scent of cheap suntan lotion, and the fact that you barely have to wear any clothes are all reasons to spend the day at the beach. If you have the willpower to get up early, a beach sunrise is amazing! If you are watching the waves and the sun in the opposite direction, there is nothing like a beautiful sunset over the water. No matter the time of day or even the weather, the beach is my happy place.

This is the point where I add some photos to embarrass my children. Enjoy our beach trips over the years and remember: it’s better to put on sunscreen before you get to the beach, and even if it’s overcast, the UV rays will find you and burn your skin if it’s not covered up with sunscreen, a hat, clothes, or you are inside the beach tent.

Here we are with the tent! She’s also demonstrating the art of covering up with her t-shirt….and she stole my chair. Our cooler is making good use of the tent’s shade.

One of the many shrimps on Amelia Island

“Just get your feet wet!” But the wave thought otherwise.

The beach is our happy place, but we also like all things outdoors. Especially soccer, cheerleading, and running. Check out our Amazon search list “Things we like to do.”

Things we like to do

The Bookstore…a precarious shopping experience but also my happy place

I love books! Let me re-emphasize that…I LOVE books! I can get lost in a Barnes & Noble or Books-a-million. I can walk around for hours, reading titles and book summaries. I scan the bestsellers and new reads. I dig a little deeper in the sale or clearance section. Some days, I walk out of there with a bag of books. Other days, I have self-control and leave with nothing. Those days are rare.

Then you have days like the other day. I had two hours to spare, so instead of sitting in my car and scrolling through social media, I found a place with free wifi. I had a few choices. Starbucks is always an option, but it seems to be a popular place for folks to hang out. I could have went to Panera, but its noisy and sometimes the smell of baking bread is overwhelming. My normal little coffee shop was closed for the day. So, I ended up at Joe Muggs inside Books-a-million. I knew as soon as I walked in, I needed to get distracted. I ordered a chai latte and found a table in the cafe area. However, there I sat with the historical fiction and beach reads displays right in my view over my laptop.

Since I was young, I have loved reading. My dad claims I started reading at the age of 3. I can’t confirm or deny that information. Apparently, he was reading the newspaper with me in his lap. I just started reading the headlines out loud. I remember as a kid, I always had a book on hand when we traveled. People always said I was shy growing up. Looking back now, maybe I wasn’t shy but rather i was just reading. My grandma had book shelves full of the Reader’s Digest condensed novels. I read them all. I went to the library near my house frequently. At yard sales, I would head straight to the books. Reading was just my thing.

As I got older, I discovered book stores. Brightly lit stores with rows and rows of colorful book covers. It met my urge to read as well as provided some much needed retail therapy from time to time. So many choices, so little time to read them all. I have multiple book shelves in my house—books I’ve read and books I want to read. There’s nothing like reading a book on paper. Turning the page is so satisfying. Seeing the cover with the artwork that may or may not help you jump into the story. And jump in is what I do. If it’s a good book, I’ll lose sleep and ignore other responsibilities until I finish. The book store is like my drug dealer, and books are my crack.

Then we have e-books. I don’t dislike e-books. Early on you had to have a special e-reader, like a Kindle or a Nook. Today, you can read the e-books anywhere, even your phone. It’s great. You can travel with a whole library of books on your iPad. And you can link your account on all your devices, so you can jump right back in on your phone or other tablets. Sometimes I will come to the bookstore and peruse the bestsellers, so I can go home and buy the e-book online. Plus, now you can check e-books out at the library for free. Whoa! However, even though the e-reader’s animation tries to mimic turning the page, you don’t get that feel of paper and the sensation of holding the book open with two hands when you are reading on a mobile device.

Yes, the bookstore is dangerous. Great displays of young adult books and beach reads and biographies and romance and….I could go on and on. There’s also the accessories you can buy like journals and fancy pens plus bookmarks and lights so you can read in the dark. I went to a giant bookstore in South Korea, and half the store was merchandise. The English translation of such items said, “Souvenirs.” Yes, they are like souvenirs of the great journey and adventure that each bookstore trip entails. Its all set-up so well, trying to entice a book addict like myself to pull out your bookstore membership card and give them your money. They do a great job!

Here’s another way they draw you in….the coffee shops in-store and free wifi. I will also admit, they have clean restrooms…and that may be an excuse I’ve used before to stop at bookstore. Did I mention there’s no time limit in the cafe. I could sit there all night, or at least until they closed. I needed free wifi the other day to do some work on my laptop. And I needed a nice table to lay out all my stuff. So there I was… sipping my hot drink, listening to the nice music over the loudspeaker, logged into their wifi, typing away on my laptop, and occasionally looking up at the pretty books calling my name. Danger, Will Robinson! I left the store with just one book from the sale section, but I just went in to use the free wifi.

I’ll admit, if there is one addiction that I can live with, books and reading are my drug of choice. Books take you away to lands far away, and they also teach you a lesson or two. There’s also serious books like textbooks and non-fiction. I like those, too. Really, I do. I still have textbooks in my “garage bookshelves” from my college days…and I graduated over 30 years ago. Yes, there are multiple sets of bookshelves in my house. If I had the space, I would just make my own library. Don’t tell me, “you don’t need another book.” Maybe, I don’t need you and your opinion. Sorry, that’s the book addict in me talking.

Recently, I read an article that said reading to young children daily made them smarter. It stimulates their imagination, builds their curiosity, develops their language and listening skills….and most importantly it introduces them to books and develops healthy habits. In another article, I read that reading can reduce stress, alleviate depression, and help you live longer. Wow! All that good stuff happens when we read a book, either aloud to a child or quietly to ourselves. There’s also the increase in knowledge we gain from a book and the exercise it provides our brain. This isn’t a bad drug…it’s more like a secret health elixir.

My point in admitting I am a book addict is that we shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. Yes, that’s me sitting alone in the back of the waiting room and reading a book. I’m not being anti-social. On the contrary, the book characters and I are traveling the world and making new friends. At the end of the day, they will go back inside the book, and I will go back to being a busy single mom supporting my kids while they live their best life. And…if I give you a book as a present, understand that this gift is just as precious as anything I could have found on Amazon. Plus, buying that book for you helped calm the beast inside of me, itching to buy more books. All hail, the mighty bookstore and the next great read!

Hello, 2023!

After a long break from writing, I’m back. And ready to give my followers some much needed love and attention! We won’t talk about why I had taken a long break from my blog, but 2023 is the year we are coming back stronger than ever.

Strength is built from experience—both the good times and the bad ones we want to forget. Like child birth and pregnancy, the positive outcomes outweigh the pain and discomfort. We remember the good experiences and treasure that feeling of happiness and glory. We are tormented by the bad experiences and haunted by that feeling of failure or sadness or fear. Today, we take all those memories and we navigate life based on all that has happened in the past.

However, we can’t let the past define us. It’s true that the past has molded and created the person we are today. But that doesn’t have to be where the story ends. Living in the present and realizing we have the power to build and shape our future self gives us the power to push back on the old you and to welcome the new you that is going to kick some ass and be successful while also burning bridges and creating new paths!

Just a few years ago….ok, 31 years ago, I was a single, pregnant, senior in college, and soon to be Army Officer. On the same day, I learned I was pregnant and I had been assessed Air Defense Artillery plus chosen to serve on active duty. Back in the early 90s, that’s 1990s for you younger folks, it was hard to get active duty from an ROTC program. Later that year, I had a beautiful baby girl while also taking summer classes. I missed 4 days of class after I had the baby, and returned to finish the semester with straight As! For those that know me, that was my best semester GPA during undergrad. Much later that year, I graduated with a BA in political science and was commissioned a Second Lieutenant in the United States Army. 1992 was a hard year for me even with the bonus of a new daughter and successfully obtaining my goal of going into the Army after graduating from the mighty fine college institution known as “the” University of Florida. Go Gators!

Let me explain….a few weeks before I found out I was pregnant, my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years broke up with me. Should not have been a complete surprise as we had been open to seeing other people the previous few months. However, maybe it was the pregnancy hormones or maybe it was the immaturity of being 20 years old and pregnant, but the break up hit me hard. A month later, I’m pregnant and living alone in a small apartment since the sorority house asked me to move out when they learned I was pregnant. I had taken in-completes the previous fall semester because I had been so sick, which we later learned was first trimester morning sickness and not the flu. So trying to finish the fall semester while taking new classes in the spring semester plus moving and accepting my new life challenges, I sat home at night with my pregnant self and cried. Yes, I cried a lot when I was pregnant. But I also did so much better in school that year since all I did was go to class and study….and make late night runs to McDonald’s since I had a craving for Big Macs often. It was a tough time with a positive outcome.

Yes, it was a positive outcome! That beautiful daughter gave me a beautiful granddaughter in 2022! I went from being “Mom to “Gigi” early one morning last June! Let’s skip back in the story, I married the baby daddy in January of 1993 and had two more kids. My only biological son and my second daughter. While that marriage ended with my first divorce (yes, I have two divorces under my belt), the amazing children that came from that relationship trumps the pain of divorce. Additionally, my son gave me a grandson in November of 2022! Yes, I’m now the proud grandparent of both Milli and Hunter. My heart is bursting with love and pride! Definitely a positive outcome for 1992!

Baby shower for my oldest daughter…my son and youngest daughter missing from the family photo

My point….for a brief few months in 1992, I thought my world was crashing in on me. The waves of depression and anxiety were overwhelming. But looking back, I rode those waves like a professional surfer and won the best trophy in life—-family! I gave birth to 5 kids plus won a bonus step-son. I now have a son-in-law and a daughter-in-law as well as “Adam”, also known as my daughter’s boyfriend. I have TWO grandchildren. And not to brag, both of my parents and my step-dad are still healthy and doing this adventure called life. Despite the many crashes and bruises I’ve acquired over the years, I’m winning!

I’m winning and I’m back! Ready to take on 2023! Ready to share My Awesome Disaster of a life with my followers and new readers. Let’s put the past behind us, treasure the gift of today, and not focus too hard on tomorrow. As cliche as it is, “Life is short” and we need to face each day like it could be our last! Thrive instead of just living! Let’s go ride the big waves and win this competition!

https://myawesomedisaster.com/

A refresher course on Sarah singing!

My middle daughter is an amazing talented singer/song writer/guitar player. Don’t believe me, search for Sarah Lopez on Spotify, iTunes, Amazon Music…and even Tik Tok! She’s got videos on YouTube.

Today a reminder came on my Facebook feed that 3 years ago this week, Sarah graduated high school and wowed us all with an amazing performance of the National Anthem! Below are just a few links, so you can enjoy Sarah as much as we do!

Graduation Performance

https://youtube.com/watch?v=qVTQ9FanHCE&feature=share

College Football Game

https://youtu.be/nr2Tvz5JSIM

College Soccer Game

https://www.facebook.com/503405789/posts/10161175497095790/?d=n

Spotify Page

I could post videos and links for days. Super proud of my girl! Now she’s a senior at Vanderbilt and has the whole world ahead of her! Can’t wait for life to get back to a new normal, so we can all enjoy more live Sarah performances! Happy Listening!