People always think I’m joking when they ask me, “what do you do for a hobby?” And I reply, “I watch soccer and cheerleading.” When you have two very active athletes living at home, you don’t have time to do much more than watch them live their best life. I like to read books and watch movies, but I’ve had to switch to audio books that I can listen to anywhere.
All of my children played sports and had many other extracurricular activities while growing up. I’m down to two at home, and they seem to be pushing the limits on the costs and amount of time needed to do what they love doing. Yes, they love competing. Win or lose, the thrill of performing on a big stage or playing in a big stadium is what keeps them going.
Living in small town Georgia, participating in sports at a high level requires travel. Travel requires time and money. It also requires balancing a calendar of events, and sometimes, it requires having to choose which child gets to have you in attendance this week. Until someone figures out how to make a clone or a real hologram, I can’t be at two places at once.
In order to survive this chaos of multiple children in different sports, I’ve had to learn a few things.
- Make friends! Meet the other parents on the team and get to know at least one of them well enough that you would trust them with your child’s care. Many times over the last few years, my girls have traveled to a competition or game with another family. Sometimes they had to stay the night (or two) in a hotel. Finding the right fit for your child is important. Trusting the other family to treat them as one of their own will make your life slightly less stressful. It is also nice to have friends to hang with during those long weekends far from home.
2. Ask for help! Yes, you need to make trustworthy and caring friends. What’s even harder is taking that next step and asking for help. Most people will happily help you with transportation and looking out for your child for an away game or competition. We all want to be there all the time for our kids, but many of us have conflicting sports schedules and even work requirements that make it nearly impossible to be there for all of them. If one family says no, be prepared to ask another one. Just ask!
3. Make a family calendar. Between practices, games, competitions, classes, doctor’s appointments, club meetings, and whatever else life throws at us, it is imperative to write it all down. One calendar that’s big enough to post it all will make things easier to coordinate. It will also give you an idea of why you always feel like you are being pulled in 12 directions….because you probably are. This will help when you are making future appointments and also gives you a heads up when someone is going to need a ride.
Sometimes it also helps the child to see they have planned events that overlap, and someone is going to have to make decision. This gets even harder when they are on multiple teams in the same sport…yes, that’s a thing. My daughter plays soccer year round. Before high school, there were times when she was on three teams in the same time period. The state rules that say you can’t play outside of the high school team during the high school season is a blessing in disguise.
Make a calendar of all activities and include: child’s name, event name, time, and if they need a ride. Sometimes you also need to add location.
4. Take a deep breath! You can’t do it all. You can’t be at every single game when you work and have other children. This is even more difficult if you are doing this as a single parent.
You can control how you react to the busy schedule. Don’t let your kids see how stressed you are over their activities. Their focus should be on doing their best and having fun….not worrying about how they are going to get there. Learn to control your emotions and plan ahead to avoid last minute panic.
Do something for yourself. Take a deep breathe! Go to the gym while they are at practice. Go get a pedicure while they are taking an extra class to be better at their sport. Get yourself a snack to enjoy while you sit waiting in the parking lot. Don’t forget: they need you to be at your best, so they can be at their best.
Self-care is real and is a requirement. Along with planning ahead.
5. Create a budget. This should probably be first on the list. Sports are expensive. Club soccer has expensive fees and expensive travel. Competitive cheer has the most expensive fees and even ridiculous expensive travel. Once these big cities find out there’s a cheer comp coming to town, they jack the prices up to obscene rates. For example, an upcoming comp in Atlanta is going to cost me over $400 a night just for the hotel. Fortunately, we can get there by car in three hours. I can’t even imagine the costs for those teams coming from out of state.
School sports are not free either. Team dues and fundraisers will take a toll if you don’t budget for those items. I never want my kids to say they couldn’t do something because we couldn’t afford it. However, budgeting the costs along with household expenses is necessary to ensure at the end of the day you still have a house to live in.
The little extra costs add up as well….a t-shirt here, a fast food meal or two or three, new cleats or new cheer shoes, practice wear and the actual uniform. Make a budget and stick to it. And…do as I say, not as I do. We still struggle in this area!
Those are my top 5. I’m sure there are many more ways to make life as a sports parent easier. I can think of a few more: organize equipment in your garage, keep all uniform parts together in their own bag (Lululemon bags work great for this), keep in touch with the coaches and booster club, and meal plan.
At the end of the day, they grow up way too quick. I’m on my last two at home. One day there will be no more practices, no more sporting event road trips, no more late night laundry, and no more smelly gear in my car. And when that day comes, I will miss it all! But…I can finally read all those books I keep buying and placing in my bookshelves. And….I can buy a car that doesn’t require a huge storage area and seating for 7.
