This started as a social media post and turned into a much longer piece. I decided this is a better place to voice my personal opinion.
Identification to vote has been a heated discussion for years. How is it not discrimination for all other requirements? This article is from 2016. It’s one of the dozens of articles I’ve read through this weekend trying to wrap my head around all the controversy.
We need to educate ourselves and take the time to read the facts and not trust the media as a reliable source. Any bill that’s 98 pages long is going to have parts of it that someone isn’t going to like, but what about all the positives that are being dismissed. Read the facts and not the commentary. And go one step further and compare state laws….one state is being penalized publicly while most other states’ laws are way more restrictive.
I’m not taking sides, I’m just asking for everyone to take a deep breathe and look for the facts….also take into account things were different last year due to COVID measures, those things being pointed out as being eliminated in the new law…they were never written in a law at all before. We can’t base everything on COVID measures unless you think wearing a mask to the grocery store is a cool thing to do long term. Read for yourself, then base your opinion.
Yes, Georgia as a whole isn’t perfect, but people also need to remember there’s a lot more to the state than just Atlanta. Us folks down here by the Florida border, we only fly Delta because it’s the only airline at our airport. We drink Coca-Cola with our bbq because we like the taste better. We love baseball just like everyone else, but we are nowhere near a major stadium. I don’t care where a game is played, just want to know if it’s going to be televised. And I still have to show a picture ID when I pick my kids up from school even though that lady knows me and my kids on a first name basis.
How do you manage a holiday calendar when you have five kids, two of them in middle school? You don’t. At least not without help.
Annual Christmas pajamas photo, 2015.
As we get closer to Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s Eve, and whatever holiday you celebrate, our schedules are full with school programs and school lunches and special events. Throw in some winter soccer and a cheer competition, and you realize you need a clone. But just wait…it gets even more chaotic. Two weeks of travel for work during the month of December. And, I must add a college graduation for my oldest child.
Breathe! My meditation app, Headspace, reminds me throughout the day to take a moment to relax. The holidays can be so overwhelming. A period of time that is supposed to be filled with joy and laughter and memory making events can create anxiety and sleepless nights that destroy the merry in Christmas. And before you know it, it’s January.
Ask for help! I know I can’t be two places at once. I definitely can’t be three places at the same time. My two very active middle schoolers need a ride somewhere several times a day. School, after school club meetings, practice, games, extra practice, dentist appointments, and every other thing that pops up on the calendar requires transportation. Family and friends are the only way I can get everyone where they need to be on a daily basis.
Write it down! Maybe it’s my age, maybe it’s the busy schedule, but I seem to forget details frequently. What time are we supposed to be there? What day was that appointment? Are we wearing red or grey today? If I don’t write it down right away in my calendar, we probably won’t be there unless someone sends me a Remind message.
By the way, the Remind app is about the best thing ever invented for teachers and coaches to send updates and reminders. I still read the messages several times before we leave the house, and sometimes when my 13 year old is making me doubt myself, I will check the uniform color two or three times while I’m driving the 35 miles to a soccer game, knowing it’s too late at this point even if she is wearing the wrong color. Side note: she’s learned to always keep the other color uniform in her soccer bag because sometimes I still get it wrong.
Plan, plan, plan! My job requires me to spend months planning and then while we are executing the mission, we start planning the next one. I think I’m pretty good at it. However, when it comes to planning my personal and family schedule, I’m not always as organized. Yes, I write it down in the calendar. Yes, I wait until the last minute to ask a friend to give my kids a ride somewhere. Maybe my calendar should also have an excel spreadsheet attached to it with the logistics required for each event. Which reminds me…did I make that hotel reservation yet for the out of town cheer competition? Did I make my flight reservations for that other work trip? I’m thinking we need a family conference call to figure out where everyone is eating on Thanksgiving.
In the end, I know it will all work out. There may be a few tears shed. One of my kids will probably release some stress and tell me how I messed something up or embarrassed them. Middle schoolers can be too honest at times. With the help of my family, friends, and even my co-workers, we will survive the holidays. I’ll wish I took more pictures and I’ll wish I asked others to share more pictures. But life will keep moving forward…we just need to hang on for the ride, and remember to enjoy it! After all, it’s the most wonderful time of the year according to the Christmas carols already playing on my radio.
The calm before the storm one year ago while we prepared for Hurricane Michael
This whole “sit around and wait” for a tropical storm is becoming all too familiar. I appreciate when it turns out to be “not that a big a deal.” But the stress of waiting and watching and preparing can take its toll. We all know the potential for a disaster is real, as we watch the news and see the photos posted on social media from areas not as lucky as us. There are times when you want to be like Forest Gump and LT Dan…just ride it out with no care in the world. Well, at least LT Dan didn’t seem to care about the storm. See the clip below.
Remember that scene now in the movie when LT Dan questions Forest’s faith in God? And “God showed up” is the way Forest describes the storm. We tend to think of tropical storms as evil, but there’s a beauty in the calm of a storm that has God written all over it. The design of a hurricane is so unique with this perfectly circular eye in the center and the rings that rotate around it. The eye of the storm is calm and peaceful, and it is also dangerous as people assume the worst is over when suddenly they get slammed by the outer walls of the eye as the next band of rain and wind hits. Even the Bible reminds us in Psalms 19:1-2. “The heavens tell about the glory of God. The skies announce what his hands have made. Each new day tells more of the story, and each night reveals more and more about God’s power.” (Holy Bible, Easy-to Read Version)
Sitting here while the rain is light and the winds are just relaxing, I think about the calm before and after the storm. While we are in the storm, we feel helpless and alone if we don’t reach out. Whether we reach out to God in prayer or ask for help through a friend or organization, we tend to think we are strong enough to handle this on our own when the seas are calm. Then we get slammed by the storm because we were “tricked” into believing that we got this because we did so well by ourselves during the calm. The calm is peaceful and relaxing. We get comfortable. When the storm hits though, we need to be prepared. And at times, we need ask for help. We aren’t all as lucky as LT Dan and Forest Gump.
Tropical Storm Nestor is already causing damage along the Gulf Coast of Florida. The same area that was slammed last year by Hurricane Michael. Nestor showed up quickly, almost like out of nowhere. Almost like LT Dan asked Forest “where’s this God of yours?” And God replied with a strong powerful gust of wind and a down pour of rain, “Here I am,” while the sky developed and built into a powerful tropical storm. I’m not saying that God is purposely destroying homes and infrastructure in the path of the storm. I’m just saying you have to admit the creation of a storm seems supernatural. Man and the all intelligent computers can’t even figure out where it is going and what it is going to do next. Tropical storms are just unpredictable…and out of our control.
Living in South Georgia, we won’t see the level of destruction that they do along the coastal areas. We will get some wind which could take down a few trees. We will get the heavy rain which, by the way, we really needed in this area. We might lose power for a little while which is just inconvenient for most of us. But think about what we get in return—a day stuck at home. For those of us that keep a calendar in multiple colors for all the activities and events that keep my kids and I on the road and out of house most days, a day at home with nothing to do is a blessing.
Enjoy the calm before the storm. Enjoy the short lived calm of the eye of the hurricane. Enjoy all that the storm has to offer—time spent stuck indoors with the family, an abundance of rain that we desperately needed, an excuse to sleep-in or take a nap, the fresh warm air pushed our way from the Gulf of Mexico, and the chance to see “God show up.” Even when there’s destruction caused by the storm, what happens in a disaster? Communities come together, organizations jump in to provide relief, and people pray.
Still sitting here waiting for the storm. And thinking this is a good day to re-watch Forest Gump with the kids. And while it is still calm, I think we need to make some cookies. And fill our water bottles, just in case. And charge our phones. Check the flashlights for batteries. And pray.
Driving through our little town one morning this week, we were amazed at the beauty of the sunrise
Fall is my favorite time of the year…OK, my second favorite time of the year. Christmas will always win, for so many reasons and on so many levels. That’s a discussion for later in the blog. Today is the first of October and while not officially the first day of Fall, it is the day we feel safe to start putting up the season’s decorations.
Here are my top 10 reasons why I like this wonderful season that is also known as Autumn.
1.The FEEL of Fall. The temperature’s are slightly cooler. Here in Georgia that means they are in the 80s instead of the 90s and 100s. Not cold, but we can feel the difference. In other parts of the country and world, it is really a comfortable season. Temps in the 60s and 70s. Almost sweater weather. Usually, the humidity starts to decrease as well. I can walk outside and not immediately start sweating. While living in the South means that there are still days that feel like Summer, there are days that just feel like….well, Fall. Breezy, cooler and dryer air that just makes you want to go for a nice walk.
Walking barefoot on a nice Fall day
2. The COLOR of Fall. In some parts of the country, the leaves change pretty colors like orange and yellow and red. While this signals that the leaves are “falling”, these colors also represent joy and passion and optimism. They can increase your energy levels and stimulate creativity. Really—who can look at a photo of colorful autumn leaves and not smile? People will drive miles just to see this phenomenon of the changing colors. A beautiful view for that nice walk if you live far enough north to see the changing of the leaves. Sorry to say that the pine trees in South Georgia do not change colors. And the pine needles fall year round. We still get to enjoy the Fall colors in many other ways.
Fall decorations with South Georgia snow…also known as cotton
3. HALLOWEEN. Do I really need to explain this one? Candy. Costumes. Trick-or-Treat. Happy children. Halloween is really challenging Christmas when it comes to decorating. There’s blow-up pumpkins and ghosts to display in your yard. Orange and purple lights to string around your house. Yard decorations of all types—headstones, spider webs, spiders, brooms, witches, ghosts, and many more. I enjoy going out with my kids to collect candy from our neighbors. It is also a lot of fun to hand out candy and to see all the adorable and creative costumes that kids wear while they walk or ride around the neighborhood. While it is intended to be a spooky event, Halloween is a lot of fun. And….did I mention I really like candy?
Two of my favorite Super Heroes dressed up for Halloween
4. Great time for PIE. I like pumpkin pie. I love sweet potato pie. Pecan pie is pretty good, too. There’s also apple pie and chocolate pie. One year for Thanksgiving, I had to make a Jam Pie. My little girls were big fans of that annoying TV show “Max and Ruby” at the time. Max and Ruby’s grandma made jam pie for Thanksgiving, so we had to have jam pie, too. I thought it was going to be a challenge since I didn’t realize it was a real thing. It wasn’t the easiest to make since the ingredients weren’t common baking items. Who has crumbled almond paste sitting around in their kitchen? It was delicious. I’ve added the link, in case you want to try it or maybe you have Max and Ruby fans that are going to put you on the spot one day and demand jam pie, too.
5. Multiple events to spend time with FAMILY. I already mentioned Halloween. I think I have one or two more years of experiencing this fun night with my kids. But there’s also long weekends and Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving was a huge family event when I was growing up. Multiple generations would gather at my grandma’s house or our house or another relative’s house. There would be more food than we could possibly eat in one whole meal. We couldn’t even eat it all in one day. There would be backyard wiffle ball games and possibly a bon fire if we were celebrating at the right house. We would get to see aunts and uncles and cousins. It isn’t quite the same now, but no matter where we are—whether it is our family or a friend’s family—there are lots of people and lots of food which equals good times and happy memories.
The girls got to enjoy a little snow last Thanksgiving. We definitely were NOT in Georgia.
6. College FOOTBALL. To be even more specific—SEC College Football. I am a huge Florida Gator fan. (Hope I didn’t just lose a few followers….) Living in Georgia, sometimes I feel like I have to apologize for my faithfulness to the Orange and Blue. However, I’m not just a fan. I’m also a graduate of the THE University of Florida. Not to be confused with those other schools in Florida that also have fine football programs and produce wonderful college graduates that I call friends. If you have never attended a college game in person, you are missing out! I don’t care what team you root for or what game you attend, the atmosphere in a large college stadium is electrifying and exciting. I usually take my girls to one game a year, and I choose a home game against a “no-name” team to ensure its a win. Winning games are so much more fun than losing games. They don’t play the fight song and set off fireworks for losers. Please don’t plan all your birthday parties and get togethers on a Saturday afternoon in the Fall. That’s just disrespectful in the South when you know a big SEC game is playing at three on CBS.
Florida Football game. Free tickets aren’t always the best seats.
7. The pretty DECORATIONS. I already mentioned I like the colors and I like Halloween. The decorations that symbolize Fall are just beautiful. Wreaths with orange and red and yellow leaves. Scare crows wearing cute straw hats and overalls. The harvest symbols like a cornucopia filled with corn and squash and pumpkins. Jack-o-lanterns made out of pumpkins are fun and festive. I don’t actually enjoy making them…since I get stuck doing all the hard work like cleaning out the pumpkin guts and seeds. Scented candles with fragrances like pumpkin spice, cinnamon apple, vanilla caramel, and praline pecan make your home smell delicious while also decorating the place with Fall colors. I already mentioned them, but pumpkins are everywhere when it comes to Fall decorations.
8. Time of RENEWAL. Just like the changing color of the leaves which eventually fall off the tree, we all need a time to shed our extra baggage. Maybe its time to lose some weight before the heavy eating of the holidays. Maybe its time for a change. While the leaves fall in the Fall, they come back in the Spring with vibrance and new color. We all know about Spring cleaning, but Fall is time for renewal. A time to reflect on what we want as the calendar year comes to an end. Update the bucket list. Start a new hobby. Go on vacation. Find your purpose while the Fall colors are around….remember those colors increase energy and inspire creativity. It is a great time of year to start running or increase your distance. The weather is better, and there’s lots of great races in the Fall and Spring to provide you with a running goal. Don’t let the start of the shorter days get you down. Take this season to make a new and better you.
9. The HAHIRA HONEYBEE FESTIVAL. The first weekend in October is always the Hahira Honeybee Festival. If you aren’t from South Georgia, you have no idea what I’m talking about, and you are truly missing out. The parade, the food, the 5K, the music performances, the arts and crafts for sale, and the friendly people make this an exceptional event. Where else can you eat fried gator tail on a stick while also indulging in Italian ice and funnel cake. And that is just a few of the many food vendors that are out there selling their specialties. My small town has a few thousand residents. But on the Saturday of the weeklong Honeybee Festival there are nearly 30,000 people walking up and down Main Street enjoying the parade and all that the vendors have to offer. The 2019 Honeybee Festival is this week! And of course, there’s also honey for sell from multiple vendors!
Some Hahira Honeybee Queens enjoying the parade
10. It is ALMOST CHRISTMAS! I mentioned in the beginning that Christmas is my favorite time of the year. It is slowly but surely overlapping with Fall. Some stores already have their Christmas displays out with the pretty lights and fake trees. I have heard people complain about the early set-up of holiday decorations. It does seem to creep right up on everything else, like Summer, Halloween, and Thanksgiving. Christmas is exciting for so many reasons. The lights, the decorations, the pretty trees, the songs, the music, the gifts, and the parties are all reason to feel merry and jolly. There’s also the reason for the season: the birth of Jesus Christ. Growing up in a Christian family we learned that the birth of Jesus was just as important to celebrate as was the arrival of Santa Claus. When my older kids were really young, we would make cupcakes on Christmas Eve to celebrate Jesus’ birthday. We also left out a plate of cookies and a beer for Santa. Yes, Santa got a beer at our house….and believe it or not, it was the kids’ idea. Almost Christmas is a wonderful time of the year….second best to the actual real Christmas.
At least our Elves wait until December to show up at our house
Two girls in middle school at the same time can be stressful. One minute they are giggling, the next they are screaming at each other and running off to their rooms. Some days they are a lot of fun, and some days they drive me to drink…. if I did that sort of thing.
Some days they just want to be alone on a trampoline
Some days they want to ride the dragon at a Harris Teeter
As a single parent, I have no choice but to survive. And as a working mom that travels a lot (did I mention I’m one flight away from Diamond status on Delta?), I also have to make it work when I’m not even in the same country! So here are my tips to “Middle School Drama” Survival.
1. Meet the neighbors. Exchange phone numbers. Volunteer to drive in a car pool. And drive often when your schedule permits. Offer to watch their kids, so when you need a sitter it seems only fair to ask them for help. Let all the kids hang out at your house. Occasionally, take the kids to a movie or the mall. Get to know the kids well, and treat them like you would your own. My neighbor and I have gone so far as to exchange Venmo information so we can cover the expenses our kids rack up on a Friday night adventure. And when the time comes that you aren’t around and your kids need a little supervised fun, your neighbors are more likely to agree to taking your kids to a movie or other local fun activity.
On this same topic, meet your children’s friends’ parents. And repeat all of the above. They weren’t kidding when they said “it takes a village.”
2. Buy them a cell phone and pay the extra fee for unlimited data. Not only do they need to contact you often…you feel much better when you can contact them when they are out and about. Yes, this can get expensive with multiple kids, but the peace of mind is worth the cash. Unlimited data is a must. Unless you like paying for extra data. One long car trip to a soccer tournament—there goes your whole data plan. Find a good way to communicate over WiFi for those times you don’t have cell service. We all have iPhones, so when I am overseas we use FaceTime and iMessage. There are ways to limit their phone use and apps to track their locations. Yes, they abuse the process at times. For example, just last night my 13 year called me from her room (yes, from the other side of the house) and asked me to bring her another blanket. They have also texted me when they were sick or scared. It balances out.
NOTE: When they are young adults, you will probably still have them on your cell phone plan. Its cheaper for them to pay you for their share of the bill than it is for them to start their own plan. Yes, I have a 19 year old and a 25 year old still on my plan. My cell phone bill is more than my car payment. Totally worth it!
3. Download a really good calendar app or buy a small planner book. We also keep a full size calendar hanging on the kitchen wall. Update, update, update. Want to see a tween cry instantly? Miss an event or be late for a game! It also helps to add details to the calendar app like times, who is driving, amount of money needed, what color jersey they are wearing, and so on. We recently started using the app TimeTree and really like the ability to share events and calendars, color coordinate events by person or type, add photos and extra details. It also sends me alerts on my phone to remind me of upcoming events. Instead of loading my purse with those little appointment reminder cards, I immediately add it to the calendar before I leave the doctor’s office. I usually lose the little business card sized reminder anyway in the black hole I call a purse—more to follow on that topic, see #7.
4. Use a laundry system. And when you find a good one, let me know. We struggle in this area, so I am not going to claim to know the answer. With two middle school age girls, clothes all look the same. I have to actually check the size to determine who is the proud owner of the 11th pair of black leggings I pulled from the dryer. I am horrible at folding and putting away. We’ve tried the hanger method. But there’s stuff hanging in my laundry room from years ago. We’ve tried sorting by person and leaving it up to each individual to fold and put away. I now own way too many laundry baskets full of clothes that never made it to a drawer. And do not get me started on socks. The three of us share socks….most days none of us are wearing a matching pair. We are failing in this area, but a good laundry system would sure make life easier.
5. Make a budget and plan ahead: field trips, club t-shirts, Smoothie Wednesday, Chicken Biscuit Tuesday, PE concession stand (yes, that’s a thing—-the concession stand is open during PE so you can have some Skittles and a Coke after your Monday Mile), and many other random school events that make a public school education far from free. Locker rentals, ID card fees, club dues, temporary tattoos from the school spirit store, and the list could go on and on. Make that household budget, try to stick to it, and make sure you include random school costs of at least $10 a week.
6. Have a sense of humor. Be prepared to laugh at yourself. Be prepared to do silly things so your kids will laugh at you. If I want to make my kids laugh, I just need to start silly dancing. Would I do that in public? Probably not! In my kitchen though—I’ll channel my inner dance queen and bust a move…or something like that to make a sad girl giggle. My girls are overachievers, so I have to make even the most serious subject funny. Sarcasm is a langue of its own. Learn it, and be prepared to add the phrase “just kidding” when they seriously think you are crazy. Be prepared to make a joke at your own expense so you can see that pretty smile that tends to hide inside the moody teenage girl.
7. Find the right mom purse or backpack (or dad backpack). Too big of a bag, and you can’t find anything. Too small of a bag, and you can’t carry everything. More pockets are nice. Its easier to try to be organized. I’ve also found that sometimes I lose things in those nice pockets. Its like a bonus when months later you find that little something you put away. I tend to keep a pair of disposable contacts in my bag for those times when you lose one or get a tear. I can never find them in the little pockets, but when its an emergency and I’m emptying the whole thing out—there it is! The little contact packet that brings me relief and gives me the ability to see when I drive without wearing glasses can bring me great joy when I really really need it. If you don’t already, keep extra pens and a note pad in your bag along with band-aids, gum, candy, Tylenol, Motrin, Benadryl, hair ties, stain remover stick, chewy granola bars, a few dollars in cash, feminine hygiene products, and whatever else you find your self needing most when you are away from home. I’ve also accumulated small sugar packets, chapstick, extra earbuds, phone charger cord, napkins, travel size baby wipes, dental floss, and occasionally I’ll throw in a small pocket knife. Just have to remember to remove the pocket knife before traveling and going through TSA security. I’ve donated a number of small knives to the TSA trash receptacles.
Bottom line: be prepared for any and every little minor emergency that can happen when you are out with middle school age girls. Nothing ruins a fun night like someone spilling chocolate sauce on their white sweater! Or the girl in the backseat that insists on watching YouTube videos and forgot her own earbuds. It happens, and its a lot less stressful for everyone when you pull out that magic bag of tricks.
Disclaimer: This list is not meant to be inclusive. And some of these tips may not be your cup of tea. I hope they help you navigate that treacherous path of dealing with young teens and tweens that will test your patience and have you questioning your skills as a parent. Some days you just want to throw a sandwich in their room and leave them alone. Other days you are driving down the highway with a car load of them singing Taylor Swift and Ariana Grande songs at the top of your lungs.
Additional tips: I recommend having an SUV or a van that can seat at least 7. They travel in packs, and it is a rare occasion that you will have just your own children in the car. Plus, if they play sports or they are in the band, you need the space to carry all that stuff. Also, invest in a good pair of comfortable walking shoes. Whether its a trip to the mall or a weekend at a cheer competition, you are going to put in some steps. They are going to be cranky already; no need for you to be suffering.
Then they post stuff online that makes your heart melt and you forget for just a moment that last night you were getting on to them for slamming doors
Don’t let the haters “hate” keep you from trying. Words I need to live by, but I never listen to my own advice.
As a parent, I encourage my children to be whoever they want to be! Always do your best. And at least try something once. Don’t let others determine your fate. Choose what you want to do, not what is popular or what your friends want to do. No matter how it turns out, I remind them that I am always proud of them.
A few months ago, I allowed the mean words of someone to stop me from keeping up with my blog. Fortunately, the site allows me to remove comments. Words matter. Words hurt. And some people will just always be mean. But words are words, and the words of others should not dictate our lives.
Sure…a bad review or evaluation stings our egos. In the workplace, a poor write-up may cost us a promotion or even our job. While that may hurt our checking account balance along with our feelings, it doesn’t stop us from moving on to the next best thing. The new job or position may be where we really were meant to be. Or may put us in the right place to meet the right person. It also may allow us to achieve goals we never even imagined. Change is normal. Growth is expected. And sometimes it takes a little negative feedback, whether it was meant to be inspiring or it was meant to crush the spirit, to push us in the right direction.
I remember an old friend once saying, “there’s a reason someone is an ex.” It’s not my role to seek revenge for someone that constantly tries to hold me back from succeeding whether it’s in actions or words. It is my job to be a good role model to my children and to show them that we all deserve to be loved and cherished for who are, not what we do or who we hang out with. Sometimes that means moving on and living a life that allows us to be the best we can be.
My son once complained about being put in a job that required him to take out the trash and mop the floors each day. He knew he was so much better than that and had potential for so much more. My advice to him was “be the best trash taker outer and floor mopper you can be. And gently remind them you want to do something else.” Not sure if my advice was helpful, but I know today he is doing what he really wants to do. Or at least he seems pretty happy in his chosen occupation.
I’ve been more worried about what others think when I make decisions. When someone asks, “what do you want to eat?” My first response usually is “what do you want to eat?” I should have responded with “tacos, chips, and cheese dip”, but I am always concerned that I will hear “no, I don’t want that.” I allow my anxiety to the word “no” to dictate my reaction. Is it a fear of failure or a fear of embarrassment? We all want to have the right answers, and some of us don’t enjoy arguing or debating. So, we compromise our wishes and dreams to keep the peace.
In the words of the amazing songwriter and singer Taylor Swift, “haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate…..I shake it off”. Yes, Sarah, I just quoted Miss Swift. And by the way, I don’t own the rights to that song, either. This is a good time for a Sarah López plug….enjoy her cover of “Shake it off” by Taylor Swift at my oldest daughter’s wedding in February. Video below.
Here I am, shaking off the criticism of someone that only had one intention—to hurt my feelings. And moving forward and trying this blog thing, again. Thanks to all the new followers that have been patiently waiting for my return. Also a big thanks to a few friends that encouraged me to keep writing and doing what I enjoy. And not letting the haters “hate” to keep me from doing what I do best!
It’s always been a little bit emotional when one of your children completes their last year of elementary school. Middle School starts a new chapter in their lives. They suddenly seem so grown up. But what happens when your youngest only has a few months left in elementary school? You start feeling panicky. You realize you should have done more. You should have ate more of the crappy school lunches. You should have taken more days off work and gone on more field trips. You should have spent more time volunteering. Mommy guilt hits you hard!
Eating “Stone Soup” they made in kindergarten
Looking so tiny on the school bus, kindergarten field trip
Then you look at what you did do: as a single parent, I worked hard to ensure they could all go on all those expensive field trips and I could buy all those fundraiser items so they could get the “dollar store” prizes. I learned the new math and when it got above my level of abilities, I learned to ask for help. Thank God my oldest daughter married a math genius and my second oldest daughter is a math guru, too! I stayed up late making and finishing projects. I made late night Wal-Mart runs for a dress-up day outfit that they told me about at bedtime. I made sure they got to do all the extra stuff at school even when I had to be out of town for work.
Then there’s the things I missed: watching her win a trophy at a math tournament, watching her cross the finish line ahead of everyone else at her first practice 5k, eating Thanksgiving dinner at school, and so much more. I am extremely fortunate my dad was able to attend a lot in my place. And extremely thankful for other parents and teachers that treated my child as one of their own.
One of the many dress-up days for Dr. Seuss Week celebrated every year
So, these last few weeks of 5th grade are tough on all of us. Last week, we went to our last elementary school choir show. Soon we will have our last elementary school field day. The last elementary school AR party. Then there’s the 5th grade awards ceremony. The last day of school will be tears for many. The last DeFelice girl will walk out of Hahira Elementary School, and a special time in our lives will come to an end.
Winning runner-up in the school spelling bee in 5th grade
Essay Winner at D.A.R.E. graduation in 5th grade
Life’s a book. And we have to turn the page to start the next chapter. We have to move forward to keep the story going. None of us know exactly how the book ends. We wish we had read some chapters slower and had lingered on the journey. But you can’t stop the adventure. Tomorrow is coming whether we are ready for it or not. Elementary School is a chapter that is coming to an end in our family. The Middle School story will continue to develop. And 3 years from now I’ll be dreading the day my youngest finishes that chapter in our lives. The book will keep growing!
While I dread May 24th, I also celebrate with my girl and all her friends as they “graduate” to the next stage of their school career. We are fortunate to live in a small town, so the teachers that have become so special to our family…we still get to run into them at The Dollar General and The Huddle House. And through social media they still get to watch the DeFelice girls go! And go they will!
Student of the Month in 5th grade
As the mother of 5, I really thought watching my only son start kindergarten was rough. I remember his first day, holding his hand, walking up the driveway to the school, and the look of excitement in his face while I fought tears behind a big smile. I was wrong at the time. It was hard, but it wasn’t that bad. Watching my youngest start kindergarten in August 2013 was heart wrenching. I knew this was going to be it. And now, six years later, I’m learning the real meaning of rough. To feel pride and regret at the same time is just painful. 2019 will be the year we can check elementary school off everyone’s bucket list. All five will have that finished that chapter.
End of 3rd grade and 5th grade during school year 2016-2017
For all the other mamas out there celebrating the end of this era, keep smiling through the tears. Keep up the hard work and don’t let regret take away from all the pride in knowing your babies “did it!” And if you feel like I do, knowing they have had amazing elementary school teachers that have prepared them for the next chapter, take a breathe and brace yourself for middle school! According to my current 7th grader, the next chapter is even better! Turn the page, and let’s go!
Pre-School Christmas Show compared to 4th Grade Christmas Show
2019! The year of weddings and milestones and lots of SkyMiles and who knows what else life has in store for us! January is off to a racing start and the kids haven’t even gone back to school yet!
***dramatic pause, as life happens***
And now it’s March….I started writing this post over 2 months ago. 2 months of traveling, working, visiting friends and family, and of course the big day—my daughter’s wedding.
Its March and I’ve already earned 40,000 SkyMiles and have 9 more months to go. This might be a Diamond status year!
I’ve gained a new son-in-law. I’ve watched my best friend retire from the Army. I’ve crossed the Pacific Ocean 3 times now in an airplane…well, actually we went up and over the North Pole instead of across the ocean, but you get the idea. I watched my oldest daughter marry the love of her life. I listened to my next oldest daughter sing some beautiful music. Check out her YouTube channel!
My younger daughters are in full swing with soccer and tumbling. They both work hard at school and in sports! We work hard supporting them. My dad fills in when I’m out earning my SkyMiles. And it takes a village—thankful for so many friends and good neighbors that give my girls a ride and a place to stay occasionally so they can still be super active despite having a busy working mom!
So it’s only March. 9 more months to go of this year. It’s not a new year anymore, but there’s still lots of stuff to do and experience. Time isn’t slowing down. And neither am I. Don’t blink or you will miss the opportunity to see so much this life has to offer.
Or how I plan on fitting into my mother-of-the-bride dress!
Only 66 days until the wedding of my oldest daughter. The date sits on every calendar we own and all of our lives for the next 2 months revolve around “how does that fit in with the wedding?” The big question is “how will I fit into the dress I already bought by February 23rd?”
So…recently I was in Korea for a conference when my good friend Gary suggested I go “low-carb.” Since we were eating 3 meals a day together and he was already eating that way, I jumped in with both feet and joined the club. We’re in Korea where they have some of the best Italian food and we’re avoiding carbohydrates? Wait, what? Yes, the best Italian restaurants I’ve ever ate in were in Korea. Oh, and when we did eat Korean, no rice. We tried the Canadian restaurant…lots of meat options there, but we had to skip the potatoes. We tried the Chinese restaurant…yep, even found some low carb options there. But, sadly, we had to skip the dumplings and the rice and the bread. Except for that one cheat night at the Wine Bar, but you can’t drink wine on an empty stomach, and they have amazing fresh, warm bread. I also read somewhere that wine is good for you. We even skipped our favorite local establishment to avoid the high carb alcohol drinks, which meant we missed rib night. (Sorry, Byron)
Two weeks into this new diet, I wake up with strep throat. At that point, it became more of a fast. I felt like one of my kids whining that my throat hurt and refusing to eat. This was not part of the plan. But it may have been helpful. Add some antibiotics to the mix and the crazy stuff that does to one’s stomach, and now we’ve got a weight lost program.
I’ve had my moments when I couldn’t maintain the low carb meal plan. Church Christmas social with a pot luck comes to mind. Have you seen how we Baptists eat? There was nothing low carb on that table except maybe the ham. And then there’s last night’s deep dish pizza. I thought for sure I’d wake up this morning and all my sacrifices would be for not. I felt guilty enough that I had to confess to Gary that I fell off the wagon, again. Like any good coach, he told me to shake it off and get back at it.
To my great surprise, I weighed myself right after I woke up, as I do almost every morning. I lost another pound which brings the grand total to 7. Eighteen days of no bread, no pasta, no soda, no alcohol, no mashed potatoes and despite my cheat days, I’m getting there. I started this post as part of my confession, and I realized it’s really more of a “yeah me!” kind of blog moment. Accountability and determination are key when doing any type of diet or fitness program.
Someone asked me the other day when I’m going to try on that dress again. To be honest, I’m afraid. I’m holding out for the minus 10 mark, which is 4 pounds below my normal weight. But it will probably be sooner than later since there is a small chance I may have to buy something else.
You notice I never said my actual weight. A good Southern girl never reveals all her secrets. I’ll admit I ate a little pizza yesterday and a little bread pudding at the Christmas dinner. But I’ll never admit that number on the scale. It’s not just that I don’t like it. I can’t say anything negative about my weight out loud because some little girls are listening.
Goals! Site of the big event that has influenced my life choices and the lack of bread and pasta on my plate.
Low carb meal planning is tough, but it seems to be working. Strep throat is not recommended, but it definitely assists with weight loss. Accountability and determination to meet a goal are also helpful. My daughter is going to be an amazingly beautiful bride in February. I’m hoping I’ll feel beautiful in my mother-of-the-bride dress. Whether it’s this dress or another one, I promise you that February 23rd will definitely be a cheat day and I’m eating the bread!
Fitness goals! This was less than 2 years ago…we were eating lots of carbs but also running a lot to make up for it.
